Marita’s Blog

When kids are in diapers, their parents enroll them into primary school. If all goes right, the right primary school could mean the right high school.

No room for error though, so the kids are put in piano, Japanese, speech and drama, voice, painting, soccer, violin, tennis, dancing and deportment classes.

They got in? Great job!

Right, high school time. Marching band, United Nations community-building initiatives, maths club, speaking competitions, official school photographer, Physics Olympiads preparations, cheerleading, science fairs, bake fairs, school plays, volunteer work, president of the Student Representatives, school magazine editor and as many competitions as you can enter. Study a couple of hours each day. Graduate valedictorian. Have they done enough to get into a good university??

They got in? Great job!

…

Childhood is now a protracted process of university entrance. The most successful undergrads go on and do their masters. The most successful masters students go on to do their PhD. The most successful PhD students go on to become university professors.

When you leave someone after an interaction, do you leave them present to their own greatness? Do you leave them feeling completely validated, appreciated and respected? Even if they’ve just made (what you deem to be) an unwise decision for your project? Asked (what you think is) a really silly question? Said something really inappropriate?

What sticks with someone isn’t, “how great were they at the start when they wanted something from me/ were judging me to see if I was an appropriate contact to hold on to”, it’s “how great were they after they got it/ didn’t get it/ found out more about me”.

It’s not how you play the game of ‘first impressions’ anymore. In the world of the Internet, Big Brother and the constant bombardment of twitter updates, Facebook wall posts, SMSs and Skype, you’re always giving an impression.

Be on your best behaviour. Whatever you do there is always someone watching, you are always teaching, and someone is always learning.

When are you going to apply for that grant?
When are you going to start your assignment?
When are you going to start your advertising campaign?
When are you going to start studying for your exam?
When are you going to quit your crummy job and go out and apply for your dream job?

When are you going to start doing things now, like your timetable says, instead of rescheduling it?
When are you going to call your mother?
When are you going to call your old piano teacher?
When are you going to tell your friends all the things you love about them?

When are you going to apologise to your enemy, even if it wasn’t your fault?
When are you going to give up being right?
When are you going to let go and move on?
When are you going to sign up for that salsa class?

When are you going to start learning Chinese?
When are you going to learn how to cook French food?
When are you going to start your bucket list?
When are you going to start your company?

When are you going to write your book?
When are you going to start eating healthily?
When are you going to start training for your marathon?
When are you going to pay off all your debts?

When are you going to do the things that have been in your to-do list for 3 months?
When are you going to read War and Peace?
When are you going to organise your big party?
When are you going to go to the Great Barrier Reef?

There is a lack of urgency in life. We say we want to scale the world and achieve all our dreams, but we somehow never get around to it. We keep putting stuff off until our assignment is due that afternoon, the application submission date is tomorrow, someone else creates an opportunity for us, or we are about to die.

When? Now.

I was at West End watching “Dirty Dancing” the other night.

In the foyer, there were t-shirts embossed with, “I carried a watermelon”, and “No one puts Baby in the corner”.

Inside the theatre, before Baby said, “I carried a watermelon”, whispers permeated the theatre. After she said it, the crowd cheered. While Johnny strolled up to Baby to ask her to dance the last dance with him, people wolf-whistled in anticipation of his next line, “No one puts Baby in the corner”, which was met with thunderous applause.

What kind of slogans are you creating for your company? The type that gets people whispering, whistling and stamping their feet in appreciation? The type that you emboss on t-shirts and have people anticipating? Don’t hide your baby in the corner - bring it out and share with the world the unique cheekiness, boldness, and difference that is your company. Maybe you’ll create something worth talking about 22 years later…

Whenever I go and collect my laundry from the laundry room and have to go back out into the hallway for my second load or to go to the toilet, I always find a sock on the radiator or my knickers on the floor along the way. Oops!

If I see a sock or undies of mine in the hall, I always pick it up and retrace all my other steps in search of more, while wondering how many other socks or undies I dropped, not just this time, but the many times I’ve made the same trek before.

Email tends to be like this. You’ve received hundreds of emails. A typical day. You want to just click through and read them all without taking any actions. Unfortunately, this means that some emails may slip through - you forget about them and you never get around to them again.

Whenever you read an email, the email will either:
- Require you to do nothing, i.e., there are no actions for you to take and you may go on to the next email.
- Require some form of input from you - to respond immediately if the request takes you less than three minutes.
- Require you to record a next action, such as scheduling in time to write an email response, or scheduling in an event time.

So go back and check your emails - which socks need picking up?

Sometimes, after picking up my second load, and not needing to go to the toilet afterwards, I don’t check for any fallen items. Don’t know Seth Godin’s reason, but that’s why I wear odd socks!

Do you ever think to yourself that you can’t do this? That you’re not smart enough? That you haven’t practised enough? That you’re not ready? That you’re not good looking enough? That people won’t like you anyway? That you don’t know what to do? That people will think you’re weird? That you’re going to fail? That you’re going to disappoint someone? That you’re going to embarrass yourself? That you’re wasting everyone else’s time? That you’re not important enough? That he-said, she-said, and hence that means that he-thinks, she-thinks? That the conversations in your mind go round and round in circles?

We have all these conversations going on in our minds all the time. We don’t think we’re good enough, we think of how we screwed up last time, we think of all the decisions we make based on our past activities, we think of what other people think of us… But, do you ever stop and think: what am I actually thinking about? And is it actually helping me?

Because if it’s not helping you achieve what you want to achieve, then give it up. If saying to yourself that you can’t do something is not going to help you get something done, give it up. If you’re letting what other people may think about you affect your actions, then give it up. For in the infinite wisdom of Dr. Suess: Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

When the Fonz was younger and attending lots and lots of auditions, he would see lots of guys who were taller than him, more good-looking, and who seemed so much more accomplished. Instead of letting it affect him and his performance, he would say to himself, “I don’t have time for that thought,” and not think about it anymore. He usually got the part.

What are you thinking about? Is it worth your time?

Yeah, I know. I’m so cool, and I’m so lucky.

I have DNA, flesh, blood and bones.

Barack Obama and Steve Jobs are truly two icons of our time - men with great dreams, great visions and a commitment to getting stuff done.

We are all humans in the world; we have all had our own adversaries and our own stories, but we are all made of the same stuff, essentially. If Barack and Steve can do it, so can you. Seriously.

Have a goal. Plot the steps between now and the goal. Put dates on everything. Work your plan. That’s it.

When you learn something for the first time, everything is new to you.

So you explore, you try different things, you fall down, you fail, you fail, and you fail some more… But you keep persevering and you get up again and again and give it another go. There are no expectations and there are no critics, there’s only you and the work you are toiling away at. Then, people start to notice your work, comment and compliment you.

And suddenly, people begin to expect a certain style and excellence from your work in that field. You’re recognised and you can no longer be a fool - you’re an expert!

Now that you’ve learnt how to make it in that field, your once steep learning curve plateaus and your learning step increments shrink.

When this happens, find something new. Start something you can be arrogant about for not knowing, something where there is no expectation, where the only person whose curiosity you want to satiate is your own. Be playful, rejoice from and learn so that you grow. Branch out into something new and dare to create genius in what you know not.

Kieran O’Neill started up holylemon.com, a sight that shows funny videos, funny movies and funny videoclips when he was 14, and sold it for US$1.25 million while studying at the University of Bath, during his exam period. He was 19 at the time. Now 21, he’s working on PlayFire and PlayStation Universe, while finishing off his degree. He spoke at Imperial College recently, and dispensed the following advice:

(1) If you’re starting a technical company, have at least one technical co-founder. Have someone great.
(2) Raising capital from equity is the most expensive source of funding. It’s way better to bootstrap or borrow.
(3) Finding the right co-founders is essential to the business.
(4) Figure out what your key business metrics are, and measure obsessively.
(5) Get onto the feedback loop as soon as possible. I.e., launch as soon as possible.

Critics are those who stand on the sidelines waiting for you to muck up so they can laugh at you, point out your mistakes gleefully and then congratulate themselves on being clever enough to point out your mistakes to everyone else.

Even the most mediocre performer contributes more than the shrewdest critic.

If you want something to be great, don’t stand on the sidelines dispensing advice, (life experiences, overly generalised), get in there and make it great!

Be a performer, and not a critic.